This is part of the behind-the-scenes section of Mixergy, which I call etc.

The comment

Dusklight on Hacker News has this feedback after watching my interview with Alex of WhitePages.

But you gotta decide once and for all, are you going to be an asshole or not? Because I can see your frustration when you catch your interviewees in a lie or manipulation of the truth, and you let them get away with so much because you want to be nice. Go for the kill!

My response

Thanks for this comment. I understand your frustration.

I decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to be asshole, even though I know that would make more people pay attention to me.

It’s not that I mind being hated. I actually like being a prick sometimes. The problem is that it hurts the quality of my work and mission.

Because I want to give you an honest view of what entrepreneurship is really like — and not feed you the rah-rah, “7 steps to easy success,” motivational speaker version of reality — I need my interviewees to open up.

I need them to feel safe enough to shed the superman image they project to the world and admit that sometimes they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. To talk about the times they wanted to quit. And the times they were so depressed that they wanted to give up.

Because if I could deliver that openness to you, in your worst moments, you won’t compare yourself to the supermen and wonder why you’re not like them. You’ll remember that even the people you admire are flawed. And instead of comparing yourself to the PR image that they project, you might ask, “What did those guys do to get past their rough times? How did they make it?”

And at that point, all the tactics that I ask my interviewees about will come in handy.

But let’s get back to your frustration, because I think you bring up a good point. Sometimes, entrepreneurs try to evade or mislead me, and if I’m too wishy-washy when they do, then Mixergy will become nothing more than a place to for entrepreneurs to pimp the PR version of their stories.

If I attack them O’Reilly-style when they do that, they’ll only dig in their heels, or lie.

I think the better approach is more nuanced. I think it means accepting that some business information should be private. I think it means constantly improving my research so I can respond better when I’m being misdirected and drive the conversation more intelligently.

And I think it means that sometimes, when my guest gives a lame answer, hanging back so that my smart audience can see how lame it was.

Your turn

I’m not going to pretend that I know everything about interviewing. If you’ve heard my work, you got to experience my interviews from a perspective that I’ll never have. So if you have any feedback, hit me with it.

Y Combinator